The bump

The weeks are still going very slowly, with anticipation I am awaiting a moment when I feel properly pregnant. This means feeling the baby move and a proper stomach that does not look like I have just been over eating over Christmas.
I am lucky to say I have not had any morning sickness, no lines have appeared across my belly , the breast are no longer sore and to be honest besides the appearance of more stretchy pants in the wardrobe, that I care to admit, I feel the same.
I am not sure what I was expecting, and I should probably feel blessed, but I just thought I would feel more.
What is more strange to my friends around me is that I am not gushing about the pregnancy, quite the opposite I find conversations that center too much around the mini human a bit uncomfortable. As most of my friends back home are now on babies number 2, i have experienced the constant baby talk and felt then as I do now that a baby should be a part of you but not the only thing that defines you, your time or your conversations. Am I cold because of this ? Somehow disconnected? Is it unnatural that I feel this way now that I am expecting? I do love this mini human inside me and I can’t wait for his/her arrival but I am terrified of it defining me from now on.

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