I am feeling a little anxious. It’s week ten, I feel like I have been pregnant for much longer but the state still feels surreal. Until there is photographic evidence I am still unsure if you, a small prune sized … Continue reading
I find my self up before day break everyday, which allows me to write the thoughts I am unable to share. Funny how sharing with the enigma of the www is so much easier . I also realized this could … Continue reading
So it’s starting, today in the post I received my first guide through the unknown. Let the education begin.
I am trying to be a low fuss pregnant wife, but with no family or close girlfriends here my hubby is my only source of comfort. The only person that can show sympathy after a 13 hour day, hold me … Continue reading
I wonder if there is such a thing as insomnia caused by pregnancy. My friends that have already entered the world off rug rats always complain of lack of sleep. This i was certain a state one enters after the arrival . Unfortunately for me it’s 5.17 , I have been up since 4 . I have decided to not stir the grumpy hubby any longer and resigned myself to my pity party of one in the bath. Weekend tomorrow… Hurry!
I have never been very slim, like a yo yo I have bounce around from the moment I hit my teen years. Peeking at 85 and dropping to 67 at my best since the age of 18. I also have never been very vain, and no matter what weight never really felt any different and never really realized the wait gain or loss that much. We’ll not until photos. I think stretch clothing has had assisted in this phenomenon. Just before the blue line appeared a couple of months to be exact a couple of things happened to make we want to turn a new leaf and get my self in shape again.
1. A doctors check up which confirmed I was back in the 80s ….I have been avoiding the contraption of the devil since I moved to London, and realized that between weigh ins I changed boxing decisions once again
2. A visit to see the family, in which my grandmother who usually can’t stop feeding me completely backed off and accepted that no thank you is good enough all of a sudden, and my aunty who with less tack actually said..” No need to have cake ..that’s enough darling” followed by a at on my stomach and later references that I could have a starting role in a local show similar to Roseanne. Ouch!
So when I did get back, I decided I should be a bit healthier and more aware of what I put in my body. The evil contraption, the scales, were purchased and awareness set in.
Before the blue line my weight was at 77. Let’s say I wasn’t really focused or do any real diets just once in a while I said no to something, hanse only 3 kg in 2 months.
Since the blue line no weigh in, but my usually rose colored glasses that no matter what weight I am I feel the same are off and replaced with fat goggles. For the first time I find myself pinching my stomach thighs and the flubber that surrounds me .
I see cellulite everywhere. What has happened in the last couple of weeks to make me feel this way? Why am I terrified to weigh myself? The fear of ballooning into an unrecognizable creature , kankles and stretch marks all seem to matter now…..why?
I am a mini glutton, I love all food, my meat is served medium rare and soft cheese is a staple in my house. I enjoy sashimi, wine, ham and soft boiled eggs and until the blue line appeared all of this would be perfectly normal and acceptable in society.
Now after reading through a verity of advice. I feel like I should hang my head in shame if I even look in the direction of the above mentioned food evils. What makes things worse is, I am not sure if I am willing to give up on these little pleasures? If I am prepared to believe that a great pice of medium rare eye fillet will hurt my tadpole?
For generations woman have been giving birth to perfect little babies without the guilty looks of others as they dunked their soldier in a soft boiled egg, so why can’t i?
Pregnant! My electronic plastic contraption flashing, with a 2-3 mark right next to it. 1 more liter of water Test 2. … The cross test ………. Second line appears … It’s real. Excited & terrified! Like a super speed highway … Continue reading